I saw it last night in my dreams.Even though I don’t know what ‘it’ was.
Or maybe I didn’t see it, maybe I only felt it.
Changes are on the horizon yet again, for me, for those that I know, for a city drenched in blood.
I can not stop. I can not even speak of it.
But I can taste it..
If one can indeed foretell the future, is that person also responsible for trying to change the outcome if it is horrific? This is a question I ask myself over and over. If I know something bad is going to happen in someone’s life, have I not done my duty for telling them? Or does it not stop there? I often think my ability is more of a curse than a gift.
And yet I know I would be lost without it.
The cards have been calling out to me again, the way they do when something crucial is about to change, and I have been listening. The cards never lie.
I have moved from the Garden District house to an inn. I am also the owner of many a beautiful garment, though I still say my inexpensive robes were quite serviceable, but he is apparently a man used to dressing women, so I broached no argument. I also have a new name, one he has picked for me. Astraea, which means, star like, he telling me Fate was a slave’s name. I suppose he is right.
"I know that you have not been free long, but you can not be so soft this way my dear. You will end up in a collar and if I can not trust that you will take this seriously I will put you in a collar now. Is that what you desire?
Was it? No, I didn’t think so. Or maybe it was. All my life I had done the bidding of other's even when I was free. I had never gone against the wishes of my mother, my father, or later, either of the men that had owned me. I have always been a compliant woman, one that.. if not gleefully accepting the challenges that were laid out in front of me, then accepting them with a quiet compassion. Life has often passed me by, and like it or not, this was my chance at something.. better.
Too I was to choose a caste. I had always thought I would.. if ever freed, join the caste of entertainers. He told me absolutely not, that I would have to choose from one of the five high castes. I had chosen warrior. Again he refuted my choice, saying women of the warrior caste did nothing but walk around and breed. At least I would have gotten much exercise by.. walking.
He has chosen the caste of physicians for me and thinks that I should put my .. talents to work in that regard, though I can’t help but think he has other plans.
He made me kiss his cheek, I suppose this is what good wards do.
I have a lot to learn about freedom.
