Baby's Breath

Solace has come in the guise of baby breaths so warm and comforting over my cheek. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed the sound of a child sleeping beside me, the soft snores and winsome smiles that appear for no apparent reason, until tonight.

We have reached the island of COS, though I have been discreetly missing from any formal events. Crowds have always made me uneasy; despite the fact that those here have welcomed me. I have spent as much time with Julian as permitted, not wanting to over step my bounds, even though I would like nothing more than to do simply that.

Lucian has been very understanding, more than I ever thought he might. He gives me space while I assemble myself back into the fragmented figure of being. He does not smother me with questions I would rather not answer, not that he needs to since my journal is never hidden, which gives him access to me in more ways than one, access that another would never have.

Forgetfulness is found in droughts of burgundy, private imbibements of neglectful blessings endured when memories become too strong. If only it was true, that I could begin again. But I cannot, for I have not yet been fully purged.