Perfect Perversity

The dark of night presses in on me as if it were a horrific vise, one that squeezes the very life from my body with each turn of the screw. Inwardly I scream, crying out to any that would help me, but outside I am the same unchanging woman, silent, reserved and always a breath away from the emotions I continually try to hold at bay.

I do my duty as rence commands, unable to block the brooding whispers that harbor themselves in my thoughts. Curse or kindness, the blackness smothers me, closing in like an optical illusion, an illusion that refuses to allow me to see past it. Hort by hort I feel my sanity slipping away, draining into a sea of intelligent madness.

And yet I linger, surrounded by the ghosts of my past and the fears of my present, awaiting an answer that may never come. “Read.” Proof preys at the edge of my reality, even though I am unable to touch it. But that does not make it any less tangible.

There are nights I can hear her crying, gulping sobs that threaten to rip my heart from my chest, a grief that turns me inside out, bearing every last sensitivity I have to a world that has betrayed me time after time. But it is not the world I despise.

For now, the past is dead.. silent.. still. But soon, even that shall change. I can feel the twist in futures fold, its clawing hand set to rip me from the vortex of my present. I am but a pawn. Perfect perversity. Full Circle.

Pearls and Sapphires

Twice now I have found myself in Port Kar; once by invitation and now.. by chance. Precious coppers were spent on new clothing, a brown robe of inexpensive fabric and an inn, where I am allowed to stay for free, so long as I give a third of my earnings to the inn keeper, a woman I met at the Sardar Faire.

Readings are few and far between, most weary of my.. talents, though two have paid in gems, both pearls and sapphires, a cost that far exceeded the simple three copper I require. I put aside all of my earnings, so that when the time comes, I can find my way back to AR and my daughter. I miss my little Charm, more and more everyday, trying to imagine what new things she’s learned, I resentful at the fact she was taken away from me so cruelly. At least I’m sure that Gabriel and Zarah are taking good care of her, despite of who her father is.

Castor. My heart aches for him so and I know not if is he alive.. or dead.

Perhaps it is better not to know.

Finders Keepers

How quickly I was becoming sick of dry salted fish, food taken from the staples of others. I took no more than I needed, occasionally leaving something in its place to compensate for the loss of what I stole.

I had lost count of the days, though I know there were many, thinking that I would never reach any sort of dignified civilization. I kept to the land as much as possible, marshes the bane of my existence, always fearful of what I would come across. I tried to move little by day, not wishing to be discovered, but at times even this was unavoidable. And as I had already witnessed, sometimes night creatures were more horrible then those I might run into during the day.

The moons illuminated my weaving pathway, water carrying me from one parcel of land to the next, a pilgrimage that seemed never ending. At times I was certain I was walking in circles, while other times everything seemed so unfamiliar.

And then I saw it. A lonely square of rence floating serenely near a tuft of reeds as if it was waiting for me. My card.. the last to be found, a card that I had always had a hard time holding on to. The Lovers Card. We were all together again.. at last.

The Rencer

To my surprise only one card eluded me. Though many were torn and crumbled, I was coming to realize that nothing was beyond repair.

With the faded cards of past glories carefully tucked away, my journey began. A pilgrimage through rence and water, straying as far from human life as I possibly could, but of course, not even that could last forever.

The moons seemed unusually bright to me, well lighting my path so that.. hopefully, no misguided steps would find me throat deep in water. I had purposely waited for the darkness, so that I could slip by the stilted houses unnoticed. Twice I had seen the water beasts reeling beneath the sea, but both times they were far enough away so that I hadn’t worried about them. My luck was about to run out… again.

I had just made it past the lowly lit homes of those that worked the rence and water for a living, wondering how I was going to cross what I thought looked like a particularly deep ravine. There were shadows in the distance, black silhouettes against the lightness of night sky, standing erect atop floating platforms, with what looked to be a long stick, which I assumed was used to move the makeshift boats. I new it was now or never. I would have to cross here and now, or take the chance of being found out.

Silently I slipped into the water, small rippling watery circles pushing away from me as I fully immersed myself. The water was cold and I was shivering before I was even half way to the other side. It was then I realized my folly, feeling the sandpaper rough flesh of something slithering past me. Immediately my movement ceased and I closed my eyes, my jaw clenched tightly, awaiting for something to sink its teeth into me, or at the very least, drag me beneath the water where I would disappear forever.

But nothing happened. Some frozen ehns later I started to move again, only to stop for a second time at the feel of something moving past me. I could not go back, I could not go forward, my progress stalled by whatever it was I shared the water with. I could see the shadow that had loomed some distance away was closing in on me, the long stick pushing through the water making a quiet swishing sound, but this time I could feel the creature that swayed against my leg hurry past me, so quickly in fact, that I thought I would surely lose my balance. And it was headed in the direction of the rencer.

I called out to him in warning, a warning as I had feared had come too late, the thrashing of water heard, the small droplets of unforgiving waves spilling over my face. It was during this confusion I decided it best to attempt passage to dryer land, hoping the commotion would prove to be excellent cover for my hurried motion. When I looked back over my shoulder, the raft was empty and the waters had stilled. I had survived.. at the cost of another.

Readings and Revelations

I am finding Karians are much freer with their coin then Arians. I think I have not received less than a silver for every one I have encountered. I have read at both the House and the docks as well as for men and for women. My dream of owning an inn is almost.. touchable.

Aiden continues to be a fixture in my visit, though I can tell he is anxious to leave Port Kar. I have promised him we shall within the hand. I can’t explain what happened that day at the docks, upon our first meeting. I have never been pulled towards anyone so quickly. I too, am finding the thread between us twisting and growing stronger. The cards whisper that it is so and I know that I cannot change the path they have set for me. Sometimes I wonder who actually chooses, me.. or them. Which brings another quandary into light. Can he really understand what I am? He has related to me that his mother was.. lamia. Perhaps he can truly understand.

Or perhaps the cards are being cruel..

Port Kar

If perception is anything like reality, I had already pegged the city of Port Kar. Dark clouds hung low over the sea faring skies, the docks littered with workers and those milling about, creating an influx of bodies that were hard to see past. I hadn’t really expected anyone to be waiting to meet me, but still I looked for anything that might be somehow.. Familiar.

My features were uncovered, save for the hood that was pulled down low, I lost in the darkness of shadows and silent intrigue. Woolen encased digits were capped protectively over the ancient deck for which I had been called, trusting little of those that were known for their thievery. I had only brought on bag, which was half slung over my shoulder as I made my way off the ship and into the main flow of cutthroats and pirates. Had they known me for what I was, no doubt I would have been given a larger circle to move in, one that parted the throws of lost and weary souls.

The ghostly whispers of cards had not ceased, they tormenting me the entire trip. I should be used to their terrors, their tales, their taunting cries, but I am not, nor will I ever be. They continue to disturb me.

And then I saw him. Darkness. Both smoke and fire came to mind, though no smile was offered in auspicious greeting, my slow path weaving, not away, but towards him. The ultimate outcasts. ‘And from the Mountain high destinies will be recited. Fate's will be decreed and devastation will find faction in the hold of others.’ Danger lurked at every corner, but not usually for one of my kind. I was listening to something that wafted on the breath of the wind. They spoke.

"Tal Lady, I am... Aiden..may I help you?"

I was afraid he could.

"You may, I am looking for House Desolate Storm."

I am used to coincidence. It is the very thread that binds us. He did know of it and he could take me there. He took to my side, guiding me through the lot of bodies and keeping me safe. 'Touch him, see if it is so. Tempt the tides of truths, for you own destiny lies beyond the rivers of a tenebrous path.'

I declined, trying to shush the cards that toyed with me.

'Touch him.' Insistent beguilers of worn faded rence they were, no easily giving up their wants.

"Might I ask your name Lady?"

'Release the frail fabric and allow the veil to fall.' I could feel it, the secret sorrow that so many tried to hide, but still it seeped through the veneer of flesh, to pool and form wounds.

“Astraea.”

Noachian encounters, of a life past desired a second chance. 'Touch.' One hand had escaped from beneath the cloak of inherent covering, to glide over his arm as my bag was reached for, he having taken it on our walk. I immediately drew it back and cradled at my breast. Confusion. It marred such pristine features, lips parting as if to speak before whispers had their way yet again. 'Follow, it is him, he is the one.' I had turned away so that he would not see my reaction, while mentally trying to shut the the cards out. "Do I know you? Have we met before?"

We had not. But I was so sure.

The cacophony of the cards cried out, searing my soul with uncertainty. I am often an invalid to my emotions.

He was leaving, much to my disappointment. I wanted him to stay. He wanted me to go.

"Stay with me." He had blurted it out. "In an Inn room. I will promise your safety.. sleep on the

floor."

The Burning was in the Blood, but the fear of fire was in my heart. 'Find him.' Had I? "An Inn? But it would be rude of me to dismiss the invitation. I have been sent for. I have accepted." And yet, I could feel the compellingness of the situation. I wanted to. It was almost as if.. I needed to. 'Touch.' My hand snaked out to touch him, the soft draw of yet woolen digits doused in want, escaping down over the side of his face, the touch quick, as if it had never happened. But I had felt it, the chill that wrapped around me like a damp cocoon, not because he was the wrong one, but because he was right. "Wait for me and I shall leave with you in a few days time."

He gave in.

So why did such reprisals make me feel selfish? 'Because you are, you are a woman and all woman carry that burdan.' This time it was not the cards that called out, but the voice of my father.

"Three days."

'No more..' Cried the rence.

"You are a Lamia.. aren't you?"

And the demoness within screamed, though there was only the heavy sounds of silence that surrounded us. "Some may think that, yes." It was all the explanation I would offer, he having reached out to touch those laconic spirits that dwelled within worn leather. My hand covered his before the faded squares of rence were retrieved and set on the couch next to me. "Cut the deck and choose."

The Nine of Coins. It is the card of Discipline, Self reliance and Refinement.

His mother was.. like me.

He stopped the reading.

"It is not a matter of what I think of you it, is what you are.. Sacred."

We continued.

The Three of Wands, Exploration, Foresight and Leadership."

Again he moved away, but the cards would not be silenced.

His third card, the card of his future, the Ubar of Coins. Reliable, Supporting.

‘He is the one.’

They promise.