Aiden's Assurance

I had been cleaning the upper apartment when he found me, or rather, I found him.

He sat there against the wall, his head in his hands, much like a child that had no one else to turn to. No one but me.

Heavyn has kicked him out. They seem to have a communication gap that cannot be bridged. Aiden thinks he wants one thing, while she wants another. She wants him to companion her, but she does not desire children.

I poured him a glass of wine, as well as one for myself, though I knew I wouldn’t be drinking much. I tried to soothe him was hopeful words, unfortunately I’ve never really been very good at that. Perhaps in time, I told him.

I’m not even sure if it was Heavyn Lee who was the catalyst in his mood. He wanted to know about his father. He wanted to ask me questions about Castor, a name that has always been a subject we have tried to avoid in the past. Did I really love his father? I had to tell him the truth. I did. I loved him with everything that I was.

Maybe it is that he constantly compares himself to his father and feels he comes up short. I know that Castor will never companion me. Not even now with the child I carry. I’m not even sure I’m going to tell him, for such information would only give him more things to worry about. Of course, if I stay in Ar it would be quite obvious. So what do I do? I shall have to make up my mind soon. I told Aiden I would never leave Castor, but for the sake of my unborn child, is that a wise choice?

He is still so young, my sweet Aiden, so unassured and so hard on himself. I find I want to protect him from the woes of the world, I want to spare him pain and I wish to see him thrive. But these are things that are not within my realm of control. They never have been. Perhaps if I penned a note to his mother.

He wants to companion his Heavyn Lee, I can see it in his eyes. He loves her, I have little doubt of that. He doesn’t understand her, but of course, neither does he understand me. I’m not sure any man understands any woman.

I suggested that he talk to her again, and even as we spoke of the woman he loved, he kissed me.

Father or son, I can deny neither.