The First Sign

Never once with my previous pregnancies have I ever been sick. There was no queasiness, no dizziness, none of the signs that other women contend with. But not this time.

For the last few days upon rising I have realized that my stomach is not in tune with the rest of my body, which accounts for the extra fifteen ehn of my morning spent in the bathroom. I suppose, for once, I should be grateful that I am.. normal in something. I just wish it was something else.

I am acutely aware of this pregnancy, but not this time due to matters of doom and gloom, life or death. I think more because it was planned, something longed for, something to fill the void of immense emptiness after losing the two prior. Fill, not replace, for I will always long for those that are lost to me.

Other than the morning sickness, which does not only appear during morning ahns, which leads me to believe it was wrongly named, I have been feeling especially well. More than well. Almost.. euphoric, and I have an odd desire to shop, even though I don’t need anything. Even though I normally dislike shopping.

But strangely enough, I know exactly what it is I wish to buy.

If I can remember where I put my boots.