Poetic License

I am not only a reader of people and cards, but of poems as well. How I love to lose myself in the words of those whose emotions speak more so then the written word itself.

I have one book in particular that is my favorite, its binding broken, its pages long worn, the words faded, many places memorized rather than read. It is this book that transports me to a place that I may visit, but never live.

I always reach for this book in particular when I am feeling cut off from the feelings of life. It happens often, never allowing anyone to get too close before I start backing away. Protection, I tell myself, much needed in my shadowed reality where no one else dares to tread.

And such was true today. With Charm napping, a nanny looking after her, I decided to explore my world of worded rence once more. My book and I had found ourselves at the springs, an area devoid of all but one. The man I had read for the day before, one I wasn’t certain needed the interaction of a certain seer.

He always seems to be engrossed in his notepad, this now left on his leg for me to see, though I tried not to look out of politeness, in case the data was of a personal nature. Personal or not, he held it so that I could see a networking of.. what appeared to be, to me, a maze of some sort. It was crossed with measurements and various notes. Perhaps he was going to build .. something.

He seemed interested in the book I still held possessively to my breast, pointing towards it, which I took to mean he wanted to see. “Poems.” Conversation didn’t seem to be either of our stronger gifts.

I handed the book out to him, he took it and turned away from me, as if he didn’t want me to see his inspection of my worn tome.

Today we each learned something about the other with not more than a single word exchanged. Many would find that odd. I however, find it .. strangely comforting.

Malleus the Maleficent

Thankless toils of cultivating circumstances proved unworthy for one auburn haired reader of the world, but then, I am not always attuned to only those of the wealthy. Even the benign servants of lower caste's were plagued with the possible transition of a bleak, or perhaps even brilliant future.. as well as past. Their's simply went unnoted in the over stuffed archives of Ar's Cylinders.

I was in need of coppers, my best place to find clientele the falls or springs. Usually the readings are of no consequence, but occasionally I find interest in those the cards whisper about. Today was one of those days..

I had met him near the gate, the faded squares of rence crying out that he was the man I must divine. At first I wasn’t even sure he would remember me, but he did, much to my surprise, though not my name. Had I ever given it?

I am a deity designed and defined by small squares of rence. It is how I am used to being analogized, the woman as seen by many as one of unwanted favors, doom and gloom. It would be no different today. “A reading for a copper, Sir?” My fingers wound around the still concealed deck, instruments of torture, or perhaps they were nothing more than benign impunities. Either way, they were what people feared, an uncontrollable alliance that led to a world darker than most would like to explore. A question he might have wished to never hear.

"Is destiny's path deliberate?" Hooked and reeled, curiosity a depraved emotion. "And how much.. for a particularly good reading?"

"Four copper."

Bench was borrowed, the cards liberated from ancient pouch and held out for him to cut and choose, though he hesitated. Time seemed frozen, an icy fable set in the land of lost enchantment, a child's fairytale that promised enlightenment, as well as entertainment. Or perhaps it would be a glimpse of how nightmares were born. I watched him, wondering if he would indeed dare divine declaration, or if he would draw his hand away.

He chose.

"The first card of your choosing is the Sacred Affliction. It is the card of introspection, searching and solitude. You are a man that bathes in stillness, one that often retreats into his own private world. You are experienced in the process of seclusion, finding comfort in the warm waters of loneliness, even though you are seldom alone. Answers are searched for, even before the questions are asked, your passion for understanding overriding the many other levels of your life. You are a man that seeks truth, but enlightenment shall never be yours, the shadows of falsities a disease you cannot cure. You are a man moving in the wrong direction, with a certain amount of shallowness and scattered activity, leaving you in poor council. Beware the quiet hum that you cannot shut out."

He seemed.. Agitated.

"Your second card is that of the Tarn..” Whispered plagued my thoughts, even as I was reciting what the cards were telling me. “There is a dominating presence within you…” I was suddenly cold, when only moments before I had been well warmed within the confines of my cloak. “..one must be careful with such power of presence, for it can divide and leave one to be helplessly led to the slaughter of souls." I could hear him breathe, the sound thunderous in my mind.

"This, the last card you have chosen, is the Ubara of Swords. It is the card of experience, of astuteness, as well as a certain honesty. But by the swords blade, honesty is two fold. There is too, within the woman you have chosen.." I tapped on the card at hand... "A thread of cunning and cruelty. A severity that can never been unraveled. Beware the borrowed knowledge and restlessness that echo of old concepts no longer working for you. Though you are not a man that thinks within the norm, know too, that a lack of pretense is both refreshing and informative, if one knows where to look. Beware most of all the unconscious acts."

He was a man uneased, the coppers clanging to the top of the bench seat.

"I should like to read again for you, another day, if you will allow such."

"That won't be necessary." Ah, the placating smile had disappeared. I shall not be gathering coin from his pocket again.. or so he thinks.

"Well then, that's a shame. As you wish, but I come here often, if you should.. change your mind and wish to peek into the corners of your darkest dreams." But even as I spoke the words, I knew he had already stepped into the nightmare.

"If you do change your mind though, simply think of me often, I will.. eventually, appear."

"Get those things away from me." So the inner turmoil erupted.

I am merely a woman kept in the pocket of Ubars and Administrators, visitant visions offered to those that can afford such nightmarish luxury. A tip of my head was offered the man that, at least today, hadn't gone to war with the voices in his head. But something tell me Malleus is a dangerous man, a man in which no woman in her right mind would toy with. I shall be careful to stay on his ‘good’ side, even though that ‘side’ often changes.

They warn.

The Price of Swords

My day had started as any other, I out to seek a copper for a reading. Pure profit on my part really, for it costs me nothing, not even fatigue with the lesser tells.

I had found that which I sought at the springs, the woman Salome, a woman that was not alone and one that was more than eager to see what destiny held for her today.

Though I was there to read for the woman, it was the man at her side that drew my attention, the chaotic plague of whispers cooing over and over the same word in my head, one I tried diligently to ignore.

The deck was shuffled and cut, the woman again my main focus. Reading with some are easily wrought with little effort or effect, but there are those few that somehow tap into the layering folds of the mysterious, drawing an energy that leaves me drained, an empty husk protected by only by a the thin veil of faith.

"OH DON'T EVEN START WITH ME!!" Abrupt silence of concentration was broken as the man boisterously exploded in an excited tone, apparently talking to himself. When I turned to look at him, he was waving his hand in the air before him, brightly hued expletives that left my mouth half open in alarm.

It was then I was nudged by the woman Salome, she not pleased that I had been distracted. The Four of Swords was over turned, the reading had begun.

With each consecutive turn of the cards she was gaining introspect, at last three cards were turned over. They being all of the suit of swords.

It isn’t often that happens, thus, I felt obligated to spill another truth. “It is the associated with the element Air, a symbol of mental clarity. But it is also associated with states that lead to disharmony and unhappiness. Intellect is a valuable asset, but as an agent of ego, it can lead us astray if it is not infused with the wisdom."

Only then did I continue on with the rest of the reading.

The woman usually rewards me well, never paying me with the customary copper, but when her readings are more for the good, it means more for me.

I gathered my cards and moved off in the direction of the gate and home, that being when I saw him again. The whispers had grown more fierce, those begging to be heard, to be released, to be repeated. A connection was sought, a rictus of despair, but why I am not sure. “Ruin.”

My head had turned back to the woman I had read for. There would be more readings, more coin and more confusion then either of them could assemble in lifetime.

The Book

It was a book I sought, one left at the springs by mistake, I having forgotten it amongst so many readings. I had read for a man, a Physician, and oddly enough, he had picked from my deck the Physician card. His reading went well, two coppers paid, and I had gone home for the night.

It wasn’t till morning I remembered the book, but by the time I got back to the springs, it was gone, much to my dismay.

I would have to tell Silas, when I saw him, that I had lost his book. I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I found him again, the Physician. He is an odd man that speaks little and collects insects in little wire cages. He had me read for a slave. Master’s often have me read for slaves. He also told me he had my book and that the next time he saw me, he would see that it was returned.

On the third day I purposely sought him out, hoping to retrieve the book he had promised me he’d secured. I found him, just where I thought I might, near the edge of the lake collecting specimens. My book was returned to me, just as he had stated it would be, and all was going so well. The arrival of the slave from the previous evening was noted, a drunken man carrying her leash in the fist of his hand. The Physician had asked me to go see if the handler needed headache powders, so the book was set to the side, in lieu of performing this task.

There was immediately the sound of wings storming in the air above me, a tarn and rider. I had seen such before, but this one was different. I quickly hid within the cover of trees, but instead of flying over and past, the tarn landed.

I needed the book! While he was dismounting, I was heading back in the direction of what I had left and I could hear the Physician yelling for me to run. The tarnsman had thrown a spear at the book, but missed, and by the time I had realized this, he was already in pursuit of me. He yelled for me to stop, and in a way, I did, but I was only stopping to change direction. He could have the book! I ran as fast as I could into the cover of trees and hid.

Again I have lost the book

In the Arms of Illusion

I think I was not missed among so many. I had been reading the cards in the springs, again beckoned to his lap. I believe I am coming to like him, though I know that can be a dangerous emotion for a slave to have. Especially me.

He picked me up and carried me to his room, nuzzling behind me as we slept. Even though I was vulnerable, I felt safe. Even though he can be cruel, I felt as if he desired me. Me, a girl not of Ar, a plain girl lacking in vibrancy, one that still presents faulty serves and according him, apologizes too much.

Yet, there is something about me he finds attractive. He has never been cruel to me, he has never been indifferent. He has shown me only the warmest regard, though I do not take this for favoritism. Nor would I abuse it.

Am I finding myself through the eyes of another? I have to wonder..