Ritual in Rence

The Mistress of the inn gets her reading done daily, a ritual she has come to expect enthusiastically. Otherwise my life has been quiet, time spent between the inn and the arena.

Master Quinn kissed me, though I’m afraid my response was less then what he had hoped for. I panicked and I think he felt rebuked. It wasn’t my intention. He has asked me if I cared to join him on a trip, with the permission of the man that owns me. I would have, very much, but I believe he’s already left, which leaves me to wonder if he was told no, or if he even asked. Perhaps another time.

Master Kael has rented a room at the inn as well. Though his face was well hooded, I knew it was he, though I did hold my tongue.

I’ve not seen Ruby for days and days, not even at the arena. It seems we keep missing each other in passing.

Many are the times I sit in the market square, watching the free in their finery come and go. It makes me think of mornings in the market on the island and for the first time in months, I find myself homesick.

Whispered Fortunes

I am getting better at knowing what card will be chosen, even before I turn it over. I have not been wrong in the last several times. I’ve read for both women and men, thus far making my master a tidy profit.

I’m finding routine in my daily duties and I have settled easily within them. I also over hear much as a slave, but since I am not prone to gossip, I have only this journal in which to tell. My master has offered companionship to the woman of the inn, the one that likes to have her cards read on a daily basis. Though she seriously considers this, I also see the doubt in her eyes. Her cards divulged much to me of her past and her present. Twice her future had been divined, each time different because of her current path.

As for the man that owns me, I see only one love in his life. Perhaps two. The pursuit of power and coin, but I don’t have to be able to see into the future to know that.

I have been afraid to read my own cards for over a hand, not wishing to know what the future holds for me. I would only fret over what they had to tell me and worrying is something I cannot well afford.

I still pray I will gain some collector’s eye and be bought for the gift I possess. I still have hope that the thing that makes me unique will not be taken away from me. I still want that which I can never have. The removal of the curse.

The Draw of Fire

Last eve I took a walk after my shift at the arena had come to an end. I’m still exploring the layout and oftentimes I still find myself quite lost.

I came upon the hooded man again, as I do quite often of late, but this time he had his slave with him as well. She is exotic in appearance and didn’t seem to wish to claw my eyes out.

He spoke of purchasing me from my current Master, but I think he is yet undecided. I am not unhappy where I am and I like the fact that I am easily lost amongst so many, though I had hoped to go to a collector, one that would allow me to keep my ability. My future is so uncertain.

He commanded me to await him and his slave at the inn, which I did. Sleeping on the softness of a couch far exceeds the cold hard floor of the kennels. I kept to the edge, or tried to, but he continued to drag me close, as he did the slave he owned, he, sandwiched in the middle.

It is a strange feeling to be so close to a man, one that obviously desires me, yet makes no move upon my person. I do not feel desirable. Often times I even feel inferior. I do not feel what other slaves feel, the ardent wants and needs that makes them so good at what they do. Though I do wish to please, I do not wish to become a part of the carnal category that other slaves fall into. I have been lucky, thus far, that no one has demanded this of me; my slavery has been an easy one.

When I divined my future this morning upon arrival home, I drew the Assassin card. I shall be caught up in the inescapable, a transition of which cannot be avoided. One door will forever close, while another is opened.

I would be lying if I said I was not afraid of what the future holds for me.

And yet, I look forward to it.

Luck of the Draw

Though my nights are filled with a quiet peace, my days are over shadowed by time spent serving in the arena and reading for any who wish it. I try to avoid my Master, Tony and his associate, the one they call Rooster. The man seems to despise me for reasons that are lost upon me.

My Master still talks of my virginity and how it should be dispelled, but I think he only remembers this fact when he sees me, so I have been trying to stay out of his way. He does not understand the curse that haunts me, that all I’ve ever known will be lost if indeed he follows through on his plans. Perhaps between now and then, I will be sold to a collector, one whose greed for my gift out weighs his greed for my body. Both can not be given.

Some of the readings are ominous, like those of the hooded man I spend much time with, or the young Taharian I met in the square last eve, but this I cannot help. I can only relate what the cards whisper to me, what they bid me to divulge to others.

The pirates reading was different, illuminating and I saw within him something I see in few men. The darkness in is soul was minimal, though I have no doubt he could indeed be severe if crossed.

If only I could make the man that owns me understand. He says I will not lose my gift, but I will. This is not something I have been taught, for teaching can not be taken, but this is something different. The cards tell me things, whispering to me all the secrets of the universe. They shall talk to me no longer if I, their vessel, am not worthy, if I am not pure.

I am a doomed slave, to know what I know and not be able to change the fate of my future. Though I can resist for a time, that which will eventually come is inevitable.

In the Arms of Illusion

I think I was not missed among so many. I had been reading the cards in the springs, again beckoned to his lap. I believe I am coming to like him, though I know that can be a dangerous emotion for a slave to have. Especially me.

He picked me up and carried me to his room, nuzzling behind me as we slept. Even though I was vulnerable, I felt safe. Even though he can be cruel, I felt as if he desired me. Me, a girl not of Ar, a plain girl lacking in vibrancy, one that still presents faulty serves and according him, apologizes too much.

Yet, there is something about me he finds attractive. He has never been cruel to me, he has never been indifferent. He has shown me only the warmest regard, though I do not take this for favoritism. Nor would I abuse it.

Am I finding myself through the eyes of another? I have to wonder..

A Viper in the Gardens

When not serving in the arena, I find sanctuary in the gardens. The sweet aroma of budding flowers reminds me of home and it is there I find comfort in a life that once was. Rarely am I disturbed, left to my own devices, so long as I am not needed. This was where I rested today, my eyes closed, my mind a thousand pasangs away. When at last my eyes opened, he sat across from me, a foreboding figure clothed in dark colors.

I knew his voice as soon as he spoke, the man that I had read for while in the city kennel, the man that had drawn the Ubar card.

He beckoned me to his lap, his arms wrapped around me, his fingers exploring in a light caress along my arm and down my side. Though it was a foreign feeling, to be touched as he was touching me, it was neither hurtful nor completely unpleasant.

I learned something about myself today. I learned something about him as well.

Gypsy

I am not as pleasing as the other girls, my movements not as refined or elegant. I am not as desirable as the other red headed ones, nor as graceful as the leggy blond's. My hair is darker, often absorbing the light instead of reflecting it and my skin is ivory, though freckled from the many days spend on the sand or in the sea, not the tawny complexion of other Arian slaves.

Adapting has been difficult, survival uncertain, my future ever changing. Days are spent at the arena training and serving, while nights are spent in kennel of an inn.

I still bear the belt, thankfully. I’ve so much to learn.