Primal Instinct

We were staying, again, but now, it would be different. I was a woman of worth, one to be respected, and one who was being prepared for greater things.

I have an insatiable appetite, for knowledge, something I had found out when I was with Lucian. I have a lust of libraries, a love for learning and I often find myself studying things so that I might understand them better. But all things are not to be found in the pages of a book. There is education to be had all around us. Medicinal herbs for one, which I was finding fascinating.

Thus far, I had successfully evaded the eating of flesh, able to disengage myself from that part of village life, the only part that I really abhorred, but there was to be a ceremony, a celebration of sorts, and Silas and I had had worried all day about the coming.. meal.

I had always known the day would come when I would be expected to participate in all matters, including the consumption of human flesh. It was this that plagued me, that threatened to re-erect the wall that August had so rightfully felled with destroying of cards. I hadn’t wanted to know where it came from, because there were times when knowledge, wasn’t prudent. I pretended it was tarsk. I only had to imbibe in one piece, thankfully, and I kept it down without regurgitation. Raw flesh was not to my liking and I was glad I had not known him.

When morning came, I was allowed to go join a hunting party. But to my dismay I found it was to be to a white man’s village. Apparently this village had stolen children from the mamba, and the mamba wanted them back. Children were much more compliant than the adults in the happenstance of slavery, which didn’t sit well with my jungle compatriots, and when our group neared, close enough to see, August bid me to return and wait for him. A hunting I may go, but I would not be participating in war. I did not challenge.

I could hear, even in my retreat, the battle, the cries and the confusion, but I had not stopped.

It had not taken long for the men to return with more than half the children that had been taken. But too, they had something .. or someone else. A man, a white man, who was doomed to be food. A man yet alive.

Perhaps he had beckoned me because I was ghost like in a throng of darkness. I was something familiar, a woman of his own kind. He begged me for help, told me that he had children. That his companion had perished and he was all that they had left. His wounds, as I was to see, were not life threatening and I felt a cold chill of terror, because I knew, even without divination, what his future would be.

I am not a savage, save for the whole eating of raw human flesh thing. That was rather uncivilized. But I had already decided I would not be eating.. this man, instead, I would try to help him. I just didn’t have a clue.. how.

A child lay dead near him, one that had not been so lucky. Had that been my child, would I have wanted revenge? It was possible, that in my grief, I would want vengeance, even if the one it was doled out upon had not been responsible. No, I chided myself. I could not do that, unless, I was sure.

But had this man done it. He said he had not, which of course was understandable, given what he was facing, but I was sure that he was telling the truth. I touched him, my fingers placed lightly atop of his arm. He was not lying, I would have gambled my life on that, a gamble that I was about to have to prove.

His name was Matthew and he from Bazi, had only been in the village for two days before the mamba had attacked. He had three children, Jeremy, nice, Aileen, four and Celia, who was two. They were fair haired children, like their mother, with eyes the color of mine. Elise, their mother, had died on the ship, the Silvertarn, that had brought them here, and had in fact, been dying for several months. He had heard about the healing sands, and had brought her here, to save her.

I understood what hope could do and the lengths that people would go to attain it. I had been one of those people.

I was estranged from my children. Charm was with her grandmother and showed little sign of wanting to come back home, from the letters I had received when in Ar. Olivia was with her father, she too, lost to me. And yet, I knew that both were safe and well taken care of, would continue to be even if something did happen to me. He did not have such luxury.

I would help. Or, I would try to help, but I could not promise that I would be able to save him. What I did promise him, was that if I could not, I would see his children safely back to his family. It was all I could do.

August had returned with Tukuli by now, his arms folded across his chest. I thought he had come to war with me on my request, delivered by August, to allow the man to live, and he had, in his own way, but he held my opinion in regard as I explained the situation to him. Matthew had been told that all men needed to protect the camp when the mamba had attacked, and though he knew little of battle he had done it to protect his own children.

But to free him, I had to prove his innocence. I was to go into the village, discover the truth and return with it. I had until nightfall, at which point, the man would be killed.

August had said he would go with me, but Tukuli said something in a brash manner in the native tongue that I did not yet understand, and August relented. He had been threatened to not follow me. It was planned that two of the mamba would lead me to the village and wait for me until nightfall. I was to find the children and bring them back with me. If I did not meet my deadline, then it would be assumed that I had been captured. Only then would the man and his offspring be allowed to leave.

I was equipped. A blow tube, poison quills, that I was assured would kill no one, only force them into a deep sleep, a small knife, and the promise that if I did not return, that August would come for me, despite the shaman’s warning.

It was not a small camp, and for this I was grateful. At least I might be able to sneak in, by way of the river, unnoticed. Act like I belong, August had told me. I moved to the water and splashed my face, watching those coming and going, gathering water for cooking and cleaning. There were children near, playing, and for a moment I had hoped, no, prayed they would be the children I sought, but they were not. There was a guard with them, a sentinel standing at the rivers edge, one whose attention had drawn to me, eyes narrowed in speculation. I should not, he said, go to the rive alone again, and that I should go directly into camp, where I would be safe. I released a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding.

I was in.