Unwilling

His question came as a shock, but there were more shocks to follow. He wanted to know if I was ready to go back into the ether again. And.. he was insisting I wear silks of a slave, informing me that when and if I proved to him that I have grown beyond him, all of these things were easy to give back to me.

Did he not understand by now that I would do anything for him? As the slave in silks, as the woman who ruled by his side, as the ghost that would meet him in the world of other.

There is no denying that I need what he offers. But now the tables have shifted and I have become the unwilling one. I have seen firsthand how easily lost one can become and not even realize it. I have felt the draw of darkness and I know how easily it can wrap its arms around me.

I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t, fearful of losing everything with an act of rashness.

In the end, is the decision really mine?