I think they thought me dead. Maybe I should have been. I heard one of the men tell him they needed to see if I was alright. August answered by rising, with me still in his arms, and backing further into the water, growling at them, unwilling to concede what was his. Though he could harm me as he liked, he was, in essence, protecting me from harm from others. I know this because when Jonah darted him, August turned so that I would not be harmed.
I don’t know how many darts it took to tame him. I was carried to the beach, as well as August, both of us laid out on the sands. We three had entered onto this island with no weapons, and yet, Silas and Jonah had found one. It seemed that Silas had stepped on a thorn and had been.. tamed a good half an ahn. No wonder they hadn’t found me sooner.
Silas asked me if August had attacked me, or had.. sex with me. I didn’t want to answer, not totally, so I told them I was attacked by a wild beast. Not so far from the truth.
My cards. They were still back at Tukuli’s camp. It’s hard to try and put into words my.. relationship with them. They are an extension of me, no more or less than my hand or my foot. To go on without them was a blasphemy that I could not, would not do. For the majority of my life they have been a part of me and I had become a part of them. I had been taught from a young age that should I ever desert them, I would die. That they would chose the time and place of separation, not I. This had been forced into me over and over again, until my faith in them was such, that I believe it. I have always heard them. Voices that whisper. I have been told before that it was not the cards, that they were only a tool of divination, that the true power laid with me. This was never something I accepted as truth. It couldn’t be true, for it went against everything I had been taught, everything I knew as fact. My father was of high caste, a quiet Scribe who loved my mother dearly, a women of the Tuchuks, who held with her own superstitions. Superstitions that she had passed down to her daughters, legends that held the history of our ancestors. It was because of my mother’s superstitions that she had insisted I sold in my nineteenth year. If not, she was certain that I would not make it to my twentieth.
Men have tried to come between me and the cards before, and had always lost. I have never chosen anyone over what I have always perceived to be my destiny. Those ancient, faded squares of rence have always defined me, and to be separated from them for any length of time, would destroy me.
I had hoped they would understand, but they did not. I was told we would not go back for them, that we would continue on our way and head back home. I can not explain my fear at hearing this. I would have rather taken my chances at being.. soup.
August awoke, not at all happy about being darted, but he didn’t retaliate. Instead, he started walking, and I, with the help of Jonah and Silas, half carried by both of them, followed him.
They were talking to me about August, about his unconscious state when we’d brought him to the island. But August corrected them in their conclusion. He’d not been unconscious, but paralyzed, which meant he had known, felt, saw, heard and experienced every horror since we had come here. How could one every be normal after that?
We were led to the water and August waded in. Seemed we were going.. for a swim. I took turns hanging on from one guard, then another, until we felt the pull of a tow, which to my amazement, floated us into an opposite shore. Jonah congratulated him on his brilliance. This was proof that somewhere, my August was still in there.
Undaunted and unneeded of rest, he continued, leading us to civilization. Well, if one could call a small town on the outskirts of the jungle.. civilization. Living quarters were as crude, or near so, as the village of Tukuli, but we were granted a hut. August procured a pair of pants, that were too short, and though he would not grant me clothes, I was afforded a blanket to cover myself with.
August brought us food. Or.. saw to it that we were brought food. I wasn’t hungry but I forced myself to eat. The men were talking between themselves, but that abruptly stopped with the return of August, who now had two girls accompanying him, one on each arm. He was.. kissing them each in turn.
I wasn’t ready for the surge of emotions that flashed through me. Hurt.. and jealousy. Mostly jealousy. I was surprised by my own response, by the passion that was forcing my blood to boil. I actually had to look away. I’ve never really had to put a cap on my feelings before, not like this. But then, I’ve never truly been companioned before either. I have been experiencing many.. firsts.
He tasted each or them before tossing them in turn to his men. He had seen to their comforts, and now that he was free, I would be seeing to his. Amongst the guttural grunts and groans of the hut, he ate. He had a boy bring wine. He commanded me to kneel in front of him, drank from the bottle, then leaned down to kiss me, spraying the unswallowed liquid into my mouth. It burned going down.
With the obscenities that filled the hut and the lusty response from coming from the currently enraptured, he unlaced his pants. I, still too sore do be the dutifully good companion, pleased him in another way, my past relationships truly exterminated. And though he was not rough with me and I did not feel at any time he meant to hurt me, I knew my.. August had changed.
Hadn’t we all.
My being marked as his was now complete, and in some .. odd way, I was reborn. Though one can never be completely innocent again, it was as close as I would ever come to knowing no one but him. I would not miss my past or those who had betrayed me.
Only when I had gathered my wits was I aware of the commotion going on outside. There were screams and cries and sounds of upheaval, unparallel to anything I have ever heard before. The village was being attacked, raided by the men of Tukuli, and it wasn’t the prize of slaves they hoped to gather, but human cattle. The natives were restless. And hungry.
He pulled me to my feet, kissed the corner of my mouth, then jerked me out the door towards safety. Jonah and Silas were somewhere behind us, heard but not seen. He was pushing me up into a tree, where I would not only be concealed and free from danger, but I would have a perfect vantage point to watch from.
It was chaos. People were running in all directions, trying to get away. Some were cut down immediately, but most, I believe, were taken alive. Then there was the child.
She came from one of the huts, a little girl now amongst the madness. . August had seen her and had wasted no time in going after her. I had thought, for just a heartbeat, that he might get out without being seen, but this was not to be. I felt panic. For him, for the child that I had thought he was trying to save. I say.. thought, because when he was hemmed in by the natives, he growled and bit into the child’s shoulder. It was proof enough that he was one of them, he with the symbols that that had inflicted upon him and they gave him no quarrel. She was hoisted up into the tree with Silas for safety.
He did this over and over again, pulling out children, swiping them beneath the noses of natives, posing as one of them. In many ways, he was one of them, and I silently wondered where the line would be drawn. When all was over and done, he had saved a total of nine. In that instant, I knew that I had forgiven him for his previous night’s treatment of me.
I also knew that my respect for him was growing. Too, was my affection.
No comments:
Post a Comment