Liquid Calculations

Through layers of flesh, answers are sought, a ribbon of red studied, a fragmented key, a fragile comparison. The anomaly that I have tried to conceal most of my life may well be bartered against what we need most, time.

I’ve never taken the serums, my access gained by heredity. I’ve never felt the pain, the force of transition from blood, bone and flesh. But I heard the screams. I witnessed the surrender of body to medicine and the agony of what it left in its wake forced a shudder from me that I would have never otherwise known.

I want to protect him. I want to be able to keep him in a bubble where the facets of reality can’t touch him. I realize that this is an impossible task, and yet, every time I look at him I know my world would be a less happy place without him in it.

I sat by the pile of furs that he slept upon, trying to sort out the few things I needed to do in my head before we were to leave the next morning. That is when I saw it.

The letter had been delivered late, probably when we were at the clinic. It was a letter I had been waiting for, the one from Therise. I was almost afraid to open it, not that such a fear would stop me. I had to know, either way.

Olivia was at the Cylinder Inn. All this time, so close and kept from me. And now, I was leaving, unsure how long I would be gone or even if I would return. I nudged Silas awake, so that he could keep an eye on August, and in the middle of barely moonlit night, I went to the inn.

It took some explaining and even a little pleading before I was allowed in to see her, but I did get that chance, to hold her, to whisper how much I loved her.. and to write another note to Therise. I spent an ahn watching my child sleep, before I returned home, at ease and ready for travel.