The Hand of Fate

And a black beast enamored with 'loyalty' shall reside over the people, one that governs the lands under the will of the white, fabricating lies of mountain's sorrows. And to him, the reader shall travel, without the wary eye of he who is ever watchful, alone in her pilgrimage of forbidding news.

I held the note received by Psyche, unsure of what he would do when he found his tool had been forbidden entrance. Rence crumbled beneath my fingers, the grip on the returned note riddled with wrinkles. Haste was made through the streets of Ar, towards the Black Larl inn, the door closing so poignantly behind me. I could feel the cold talons of doom already rendering over my flesh.

A direct path was taken up the stairs and to his room, where digits curled, even as the knot in my stomach grew larger. I had failed the very first task he had commanded be done.

The decline of breath brought with it a light headed emotion that I couldn't seem to control. Knuckles rapped on the outside of the door, then fell to my side, my opposite hand still holding tightly to the object of my agitation. As the miasma of decay swelled around me, I knew I would be forced to admit to the deficiency of my rebuttal, half expecting him to break his word of harming none. "It's Astraea, I've come to talk to you, I've received a letter back from the woman you requested I read for." I elapsed into silence, awaiting him to either open the door or send me away in light of tarnished promises.

The door open and he reached out, pulling me into the room, then shoving me back against the quickly closed door. "Don't speak of my business in the hallway. Perhaps you are too use to being common. Free yourself of that lest you find your precious Aiden ran through." He left me there, turning to reclaim the chair he had no doubt been sitting in before I interrupted him. "I hadn't expected to see you so soon. Come sit. Would you care for a drink? So tell me, what is this news that brought you a day early?"

I had flinched, both inwardly and outwardly at his chastisement, simply thrusting the letter out in his direction. "She has refused me and thinks, as do you, that I am a charlatan. She had too warned me not to involve myself in the workings of what she called.. the Pent. And she thinks I was sent to her by way of Maleficarum. I wrote back to assure her she was mistaken, but I do not see her seeking an audience with me any time soon. She is a stubborn woman. I have failed you."

"Sloppy, Sarce would punish her for that." He seemed to be speaking to himself and not me, as next his question was directed. "Maleficarum? What is this Maleficarum?"

"I have read for this man, Maleficarum, and seen what lies beneath his flesh. He is not of one mind, a certain insanity afflicting his senses. There are times I think he can hear the voices I do, though his are not drawn by way of a gift, they are drawn by something in his past. The last time I read for him I believe I saw something akin to fear in his eyes, fear of me, that I might reveal something he would rather keep hidden. Lately he has kept company with a woman, a money lender, who I have also read for several times. Her name is Salome Damar."

"Remove your clothing, You can keep it against you for modesty."

Modesty was something long past, something that respectable women worried about, in hopes it would bring them a good match. I had no such inclinations, for my life was unlike others. I thought for a moment he wished to punish me, but when he returned he was bearing a box, a gift. a beautiful sari, a pin and a purse heavy with coin.

"I had planned for you to use these when you accompanied me to the Theater, but I think that I will allow you to miss this one. Take your fellow out. However before you go I want to see what you look like in them."

"Gifts? You give me gifts? But I failed in my effort to read for the woman. I can give you no tale of the cards, no impressions imparted." I glanced enviously at the sari, as well as the pin, both things I would never be able to afford on my own. Even the purse was looked at with awe, knowing I could not take it, but neither could I deny his claim. One garment removed, another donned, the pin attached as well, I now the finished product of his personally dressed doll, standing before him.

"Have you not ever heard the old expression .. never question a Trevian bearing gifts? That is your opinion not mine. You got me the information I need and then some. You did so without even meeting the woman and I am very impressed. You misunderstand the situation. I just had to gain leverage over you in order to make you work for me. Would you have done so had I not been so strict with you?" He touched my lips with the tip of his finger, I resisting the urge to back away. "You are a vision. This boy is lucky to have such a girl as you. Tell me do you love him?" He lifted my knuckles to meet his mouth and kissed them. "You enjoy your time with him.. and though I do not know you well don't be a bitch and avoid using the coin. It'll make me angry. You of all people would know what I am like Angry."

Often the war of the righteous found comfort in the betrayal of worded prose. "No, I would not have worked for you under any other circumstances. I care for him very much, and yes, perhaps I do love him, but I do not think he returns my affections. I believe he thinks of another, perhaps it is she who holds his heart."

I had been given leave to depart, gifts in hand I moved to the door. "I take it our business is finished then?"

It was then he seized me, but not so hard she could not pull away, turning to face him. "This boy of yours.. might I tell you some secrets about him. You have done for me.. might you allow me to do for you?" H did not await my permission, words rumbling forth. "Your boy, is unused to women in the romantic sense. His previous appointments as a guard have been with women of substantial worth. Essentially, bitches. The woman he worked for prior to you was Lady Heavyn Lee Saint of Port Kar their appointment was brief. I don't have much information on that as he was of no interest to me when he was with the Karian. I do know that he's sent a message to the

Lady. Upon it's interception it told of you. So he does not hide you. He might just be shy. He's very young ...You could always strip down naked and attack him." Would he be shocked to know that had crossed my mind?

"No my dear.. they are not done. You will be on my payroll for sometime. Give Castor a kiss." He turned his cheek to me, as if he were some long lost uncle I was happy to have claimed.

"You leave no stone unturned, do you? Privacy is a matter of record with you and none are safe from the eyes of your enacted justice." It was said as more of a realization, though their was the inescapable drip of sarcasm. "I shall wait to hear from you yet again then, on the next task you set in place for me." I wanted away from him, as far and fast as my feet would carry me, but he grabbed me before I could get out of the door.

"I changed my mind stay here." I was pulled back into the room and he closed the door behind me, pinning me against it. "Do you find my revolting? The things that I do for this city? The things that you have seen in me?"

I was trapped but not speechless. "I find you a man fascinated with his own wickedness. One that wipes away the scars of sadness with cruel actions. But no, I do not find you revolting." My back pressed into the inner side of the door, as if only by this deed I could slip through the tangible fabric of matter and disappear beyond. "Is it really the city whose burden you bear, or merely an excuse to practice your vicious retribution? I see a man who works for no power but his own." Sometimes I really talk too much.

"Fascinated by his own wickedness..." he laughed loudly, whether at me or my words I wasn’t at first sure. "You're a very strange woman, the judgments that your gifts afford you don't keep you lacking in the reality of things. And what do you know of me. of the masters I serve? Did your gift see through me to them? To their hearts? I think not. And who is this am I exacting revenge upon... in these vicious retributions? Illuminate me with you vast knowledge child? You think my dear brother made me what I am? Do you think that someone hurt me so deeply that I must hurt others? Oh but if it were that simple little dear. You can not slide me down into a category, label and sort me. You're skill is not as what I thought it was, but it's definitely lacking that. You struggle to keep me from believing you fear me, you think that is what I need. To be feared. No Fear is not requisite. Do you do this to your beau.. think you have him all figured out because of what your sad little slips of rence whisper to you? Do you know what goes beyond these things?"

"The loss of faith, one that once meant so much, that now springs skyward from the root of lies. "I am what I am, no more, no less and I do not admit to what I am not. One does not need any gift to see that you enjoy hurting those you believe are either beneath you, or have done you some harm in the past. You count on the good faith of others, holding hostage those they love with threats. As for Aiden, I do not have him figured out, he is one of those that can not be read by me. Perhaps that is the attraction. His touch does not send me into a mindless trance, for their is nothing evil to see." I bit my lip in effort to cease the rambling words that poured forth far too easily while in his presence. And still, I continued. "Do I fear you? Yes, you are a man everyone should fear. But since you have such a panoramic view from your place so high above we common drones, perhaps you would like to tell me, what does go beyond these things? I am ever the eager student." More so because I was still trapped between him and the door, unable to escape.

"No .. this is not a matter of revenge or me believing I am higher or mighty than others.. You are quick to call me an elitist, quick to make presumptions and be fearful of me. But I have already shown you what you need to know of me. You rely solely on one sense and not your others. You walked in here sure that you had not done what I wanted and looked shocked when I gifted you. You're so sure I am going to hurt you or your precious Aiden, so truly who is your worse enemy ..me or you? Let me help you Astraea.. let me teach you things"

"A man that believes in nothing, should not be so proud." Was he really monster, or merely man? And was the difference actually that.. different? "What can a man like you teach me? I have learned from you generosity, but only when it accompanied a gain on your behalf. You seek to use me for your own ends, and then dare say that I judge you. You give me no choice but to judge. Do you even have a single person you trust? One that you know would die before plunging a dagger in your back?"

He moved back away from me. "Go."

"As you wish." The door was pulled open, a momentary pause as if I were caught in a suspended state of animation. I had wanted to stay something else, but had thought better of it. "I'm sure you'll be in touch then, when next you wish my services."

"I said Go." His fist slammed down atop the table with a terrible roar. And in that moment, I felt.. pity.

My hand dropped away from the knob, abandoning all thoughtful reason that this was indeed my chance to escape. Instead, I turned, refusing his request to be gone from his room, from his sight. "Tell me, I wish to know, what is it you wish to teach me, and why you would think I would be an apt pupil beneath your hand?" One step had been taken forward, though I had shrunk back to my previous position when he'd hit the table with such unnerving force. "What is it you see when you look at me?" Nothing in my tone was condescending, only the evidence of curiosity.

"You’re a being of perception and that is my stock and trade. That Is what I do. You are not entirely wrong about me, but not entirely correct either." He had charged at me and I was sure he meant to slap me. I could feel the hatred, but was he me he hated? Or something else. He pulled me off the wall and dragged me to the mirror, standing behind me as he peered over my shoulder. "I see something vague. Something ever changing add if you don't learn to reign yourself in, to channel yourself you will not ever be anything other this. I do not wish for you to become me. That is not your way. You will evolve into something else, but there are things I can show you. But that is not what you want.. so just go. It takes all of my control not to break you, so just go."

I did not seeing what he was seeing. I not see the woman that could grow, only seeing the child that continued to hold the cards as my only friend. "You can teach me this? The ability to reign myself in? It tires me, draws out both my energy and my emotions when I see things. How could would you teach me to control this?" His command of go was ignored, as well as the words of breaking me. No other ever knew what quite to do with me. Perhaps he was privy to some secret I was not.

"You've already resigned yourself to the failure of this idea I would not hope to change that for you. How could I teach you to control this? Who better to teach control than a master.. than a man who controls.. utterly."

He walked away from me, but I continued to stand there, gauging my reflection in the mirror. I am many things, even fool, at times, and I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that he would devour

me if I allowed it. But he did have a point, and the factor of control had quickly gained my attention. "I have not resigned myself to failure. I am a mold in progress, but whose hands do I dare trust to mold me? How do I know I can trust you? How do you know that you can trust me?" Playing with fire had never been one of my favorite games, for sooner or later the bearer always got burned. But how bad I was to be burned I would try to keep to a minimum.

"You don't. You don't know and more over you won't believe even your own eyes.. and I don't know I can trust you. There are no guarantees in life. I have resigned to deal with things when I have to. When I am betrayed I counter.. when I am not ..I reward. We can help each other.. teach each other. But I am not going to beg you and I am not going to listen to you tell me about myself when you know little."

"I have not asked you to beg, you do not seem to be a man that begs for anything." I moved to sit on the couch, resigned to learn what he had to offer. "What is to be my first lesson?"

"What is it that you wish to learn? Comfort. I will teach you comfort and before you ask me what that means don't. I can no more explain it than you can. When you touch me or I you... are the visions horrible?"

Deliverance, I had made the choice, the crossroad of life stepped over, and in an entirely different direction than I would have thought only a day ago. "Yes, flashes. I do not seem to transfer the good things, only the bad, those that are embedded deeply, those that are too full of horrid emotion to ignore. I never feel happiness, only a sadness that seeps into the darkest corners of our being. It is why I do not touch ... anyone. Not the offering of a hand, nor the comfort that contact can bring. I have only ever been encased in my own prison, the bars having been hastened by my own design. Sometimes it even.. hurts."

"If I could make that go away for the two of us...would you allow it?" He opened a drawer beside him and took out a gold medallion. "Remove your clothes. If you feel you need to be covered some what.. You are welcome to hold the wrap over you, but take most of it off and lie back.."

"How is it I always end up naked with you?" Or maybe it was just the thought of being vulnerable around him that bothered me most.

"Why does it bother you so much.. do you think that I might take you by force, even though you know I know that it would most certainly ruin you? Does the touch transfer through clothing?"

"No, it does not transfer through fabric. The contact must be made flesh on flesh." I had undressed and moved towards him at his request, though there were several long harrowing seconds of hesitation. He wanted me to sit naked on his lap. It seemed learning was not to come with limitations. I had been a slave, but not in the usual sense. I had not been an ornament that warmed the laps of men. I was not the malleable being that other slaves laid claim to. I was.. different.

I sat, stiff and stone like, unsure what to do or how to act. His hand was upon my back, though separated by a barrier of cloth.

"You said to me that I am cruel and vicious, but would it surprise you to know that I only did this because of things I tweezed out of your psyche. You and I are not so different in the methodology. Do you know that I learned from you by your mere coming along that you valued this boy's life. That the moment I saw that you were alone it became a means with which to control you. Had you brought him...things might have gone differently? One of the primary reasons I threatened Aiden is because your protective nature will allow you to do no wrong to me when his life is held in the balance. Noble.. but stupid. For that I envy you. I wish I could be that stupid."

"And by simply telling me this, you lose the only element that bound me to you." I was still sitting stiffly upon his lap, trying to not to move, the boundaries of my own making now open for temptation. "In some ways, perhaps we are not so different, but unlike you, I do not know how to pick a person apart, to get them to bare their soul to me. My way though more subtle, is perhaps less effective. It is the cards that act as my familiar, my open door to the world I would not otherwise be able to see through. Yes, some times I can tell by touch, but that isn't always possible. The cards however, even if they do not reveal the full truth, never actually lie."

"Of this I am aware, but I am hoping to build a new one. One that puts us on more an equal playing field."-

"Why...honestly do you fear being nude with me."

"It is not that I fear nakedness around you, but the temptation of what it can lead to."

He did not try to fondle me or caress me, he simply sat there and continued to talk. "You have a gift my dear that goes beyond your extra sensory abilities; you just have never tapped it. You can tweeze these things out, it's a matter of desire. Is that what you are afraid of ...desire? I can teach you desire. I can teach you seduction. I can teach and you will go home to your Aiden everything you are right now. A virgin.. a fortune teller.. and you will go to him much more. The choice is yours.. and I though I am sure you have seen this in me and know what I am capable of, I will not force you. You have but to say stop and I will. I want ...." His lips moved to whisper in my ear. "You to be that person Astraea."

Such candied words, seeking to put me at ease I was sure, did bring such a blush to pale ivory flesh. No doubt it looked as if someone had lit a match and set me aflame. "Does one really teach desire? I have always thought that was an emotion not to be learned, but experienced, something that came from within."

"True.. true enough. I suppose I would teach you the thing you lack. Confidence.. You lack it so much it ooozes out of you. You try so hard to look fearless but I can smell it on you."

Muddled thoughts were held in pause, before I continued, turning to look him straight in the eye. Strange things about the eyes, so cold and calculating they could be, yet there was always something that reflected truths untold, as well as lies. "I have to admit to curiosity. You would leave me a virgin, no matter what? Your desire would not gain the upper hand over common sense?"

"No, not no matter what. I would leave you a virgin as long as you so desire to be one. Should you bid my favor I would take you without remorse. I am not a man of emotion. I assure you of this. That is where you went wrong when you spoke to me of past cruelties. I did not care of old haunts and foul memory. I am guided by reason. Though YOU may not understand mine." He leaned and whispered. "Do tell me.. Do you wish this lesson or shall we skip this one."

Did she dare open myself up and allow him in. There was not doubt that what he could teach her would be profitable, and perhaps I might even teach him something as well. "I hear lust is an all consuming thing. A person does not always think past the moment of pleasure. If I did find this.. rapture that I have heard of, and I asked for you to take me, you would, and I would be ruined. That is what scares me the most, that I, the apprentice, under the tutelage of a Master would break. Then I would have nothing of worth for anyone. I would beg your promise that no matter what, you would not take from me what can not be returned. If that is a promise you can make me, then yes, I wish this lesson."

"No... I will make no such promise.. if you fall you fall all the way. That is the cost. Remember this if you learn nothing from me. There is always a cost. You would not be ruined and thinking that way is death. You would simply be something other than you are." He pulled my arms behind my back. "The first and most important rule of seduction, or any manipulation is to be in control of yourself. You must learn this, when to stop, when to reign yourself in. You ask for limitations, guidelines. Rules. I follow no rules. Take the lesson or leave it and me."

Such assurities would not be found in the faith of man, or the faith of vision. Could curiosity simply be quelled by such acts? And then there was Aiden, who might well hate me for the decision I made. There were no rules in his eyes, in his world, but I had followed the rules all of my life. "But you would not take me fully unless I asked for it? Is that what you are telling me? That you would only strip me of my virginity if I asked for it? Verbally?" I would know the full outcome of my worst fear before agreeing.

"Unless you asked for it, verbally. Your body asks for the taking even now. But bodies are susceptible to things that minds are not. When your voice speaks of need. I will take you. Not a moment before." He took my choice away from me.. or at least the burden of agreement. "I want you to return tomorrow.. tell this Aiden that you have sought out a scribe to teach you of Arcane theory, and you are now his student. It will give you an excuse to see me without him. Go to him now and enjoy your night with him. Eat drink and be merry. I will see you in the morning." And then he kissed me, a sheer bit of cloth set between our mouths.

He pushed me off of him and bid me to dress. I didn’t look at him for had he seen what was in my eyes, he just might have decided that lessons would be learned this very night. "Then until tomorrow. Do be careful."

"You as well.."