Lovers lost in the blink of an eye, those held forever dear and undying in the catacombs of the heart. I had not returned to Castor last night, after seeing Aiden, instead taking time in my room to pull myself together. I was saddened at my lost, but too, I knew that it was for the best. There would always be a wall between us, one that he would never understand. A quick glance shifted to Aiden's door before I hurried up the steps, hoping Castor was in. I had practiced my words so carefully, but now, with my hand on the knob, all wording was lost. A single knock and a push of door found me easily inside, closing the door behind me.
He was leaning over the conference table when I arrived, I disrobing and kneeling at his feet. "I would speak to you, Master, if you would allow it. I've things to tell you."
"You've not done what I told you to do when you greet me. You'll not be spoken to until that is what you do."
There would be no compromise and I did as told. "Please Master, your slave begs you to use her."
Though words were expelled, feeling was somehow absent, I wondering how he would react to my news.
"You didn't fuck him. So you disobeyed me...Twice... Should kill you ?"
So meek are those that refuse to war. Or maybe I knew it was a battle she could never win. "I.. He is leaving, with the girl Heavyn. He told me he loves her, and that, though he loved me as well, I kept too much of myself from him. He knows there is another man and he knows about the other night in the bathroom. He no longer trusts me. He's probably gone even now, as we speak, he and the Karian leaving Ar long behind." Each sentence had run quickly into the next, giving my excuses as hurriedly as possible, waiting for the ax to fall. "I am yours; you may kill me if you like. I have no say, my life is in your hands."
"You still disobeyed me, you did not fuck him like I told you to. He does not trust you because you did not answer his questions, did you?" He ran his fingers over my thigh. "You will be punished, but I am not going to kill you."
Little dark lies, those not so innocent when spilled by forlorn lips. "No, I did not answer his questions, though he did persist in asking them, I told him nothing that would only hurt him in the end. I did not want to see him dead for his knowledge." As to his second sentence I offered no pleas. I had known he would punish me in one way or another for noncompliance to the order given.
"Who are you to make that judgment? You are no one to make judgment. You do not know many things about the heart and minds of people. Many times you rely on your cards, rather than basic human intuition. You will leave here when I am finished and you will go to him and tell him the truth with the exception of my name and who I am to him. You will ask him what he thinks went on the bathroom.. and if he is correct you tell him what I did to you. Does he know you are virgin still?"
He knew.
My heart sunk at the command, knowing knowledge of my betrayal would only further to push the sharp point of an emotional sword into him. "Do you wish that I tell him I have.. submitted to a man as well?"
"You don't listen when I speak to you do you?" He was dragging his fingers over my body. "Your submission is for us and us alone. You will not tell him that. This woman he loves? Who is she? Did he tell you?"
"She is a Karian woman staying here at the inn, her name is Heavyn Lee. She loves him back too, I believe."
"Well at least my boy has good taste, first you then her." I was suddenly inundated with jealously at the mere thought he would think another woman attractive. "Do you know if he fucked her?"
"He did. I could smell the faint musky smell of her on him. Just as he has smelled you upon me. He told me he had given her his virginity, right before he began to unclasp his pants. He wanted to taste me before he left, but I would presume he had a sting of conscious and he refrained."
"You presume? That does not sound like a man who is decided on something. Is my son that callow, or did you deny him.. push him away?"
He was right, I had pushed him away, even though I had not resisted his touch. I had stroked that bit of conscience I’d known he had and it had worked simply by pointing out the fact that if he was to leave with Heavyn, he shouldn’t take what he didn’t plan to keep.
"What did you feel knowing he did not give you that part of him?"
"I was glad he did not. It is better he give himself to a woman that can give him everything he needs, not one like me who would lie to him of her current status in life."
I had not expected the slap, but to Castor’s credit, it was not as hard as he could have been. "You denied him. Do you remember what I told you about baker? About how you could manipulate someone into doing what they needed? You know him. You know by pointing that out he would not have you. He'd take it as you denying him and that he would not rape you. So you knowingly disobeyed me." His voice had dropped into a whisper. "Do you know why I told you to do that?"
Aiden did not love me as he loved her. He wanted me, yes, desired me, but she was the woman right for him. But alas, such words were lost on those that wielded the power. "No, I do not know
why."
"Really? Because you know all there is to humanity. All there is to a man you have told me many times you've never really talked to. And you won't... ever."
At first I thought that he had only wanted his son near, but now.. now I think that he has a darker agenda. And Kings help me, I do not wish to know..
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