The Five of Swords

He was the last person I would have expected to see in Schendi, the man of few words and even fewer expressions, but see him I did. It would seem everyone, sooner or later, has business here.

I found him at the inn, a break taken between packing Charm and my things, and trying to keep my daughter entertained. Neither or which affords me an easy task.

Set in a room of strange snippets of conversation, he reminded me that the card he had given me had tonight’s date on it. Could I really have forgotten that? Or was he.. misrepresenting the truth to get his way. I would not know immediately, the card already packed away amongst my things. Not that it mattered in the slightest, for I never turn down a reading. I can not, for the cards are too eager.

We left the inn, the three of us, I having not had time to procure someone to watch over Charm. I do not take her to readings with me, for obvious reasons, but tonight she would join us on the path to .. enlightenment.

We seated ourselves in the sand, and to my surprise, he offered to hold my daughter.. to free my hands. Not that I really needed my hands free after the initial shuffling, but he seemed to think that he would be helping, only I believe he was helping himself more then he was me.

I hesitated, but in the end, logic won out. Despite the fact that I am a seer of worlds that are invisible to others, I tend to be a rational person. Odd, that.

Charm took to him immediately and I am not certain how that makes me feel. With Quinn, it was different. He seemed to know what my child wanted, but this man, he was completely without clues, stumbling on how to even hold her. Lucky for the both of us, Charm is a good child and she would break him in quickly.

The cards were laid out by his hand, a pattern of reading concluded. The Five of Swords had come up again, the card of defeat, the card was following him.

The Six of Swords, the card of travel, of recovery.. depression. Though he had picked up the pieces of his life and was moving on, the place he was moving towards was not a positive one.

He wanted to know how long it would last, but that of course, was up to him.

Charm seemed quite content, having found a new toy in the locks of Lucian. She is not like me in the respect that she knows no strangers. I’m not sure if this is a baby thing, if all children possess it, or if she will grow out of it as she ages.

His look to me was accusatory, he perhaps thinking that I, in some malignant way, had an actual hand in his fate. A normal reaction for those that don’t understand. I was not offended. I understood more of how he was feeling then he did. It is human nature to want to place blame. Who better to blame then the bizarre woman who can see and hear what no one else can.

The Four of Coins. The card of possessiveness and control. The cards do not lie, but neither do they tell all. Information comes in sporadic whispers and flashing images. There are times I do not comprehend their meanings, am nothing more than a simple tool to relate messages. But this time the cards were clear in their explanations. Perhaps they sought to warn him. Or me.

“Now yours.”

Little did he realize I could not refuse his request, even if I had wanted to. A reading may never be turned down. I have no say on who I read for. The cards often choose, but to deny them could be .. disastrous. There curse, is my curse.

Shuffled and cut, my deck was set in front of me. I did not deem to look at the cards, even as I turned them over. I already knew what they would say. The spoke to me loudly, mocking me, taunting me, all the while knowing I must share their whispers.

The Ubara of Coins is a mothering card. A card of perception. A card of trust. A card of benevolent and submissive tendencies.

The Warrior of Wands. A somewhat unbalanced personality. A solitary card. Being devoured by past fears. My insides were quivering, too much being revealed too quickly.

Charm became antsy and I offered to take her, but he refused. He pulled the pink blanket over her head, to which she responded by pulling it off and trying to cover his face. Her first game of peek a boo, taught by a man who hadn’t even realized he’d done so.

As much as I would have liked to bury the remaining card in the sand, such was not to be. The Seven of Wands, reversed as was the Warrior. Passiveness. A card of waiting, of holding back, of letting go. "This card is about taking a stand, but in its twisted state, it decrees the exact opposite. I am a woman that hides in the light, one that loses her nerve easily, one that is often afraid to take action, one who bows down to the others, always looking for ways to compromise. Many disapprove of me, and I often feel as if I am in great physical harm. My life is laced with doubt and confusion. Obstacles."

The closed book of my past was now flayed open for him to see, and though secrets still hid within the pages of my life, the words were written in a strong hand, easily read. In the few ahns that we had spent together, he knew me almost as well as Kain, even if he didn’t understand me.

I think he actually tried to console me, brief as it was. Something I was sure he wasn’t used to.

“Approval is highly over rated, but I suppose some do need it.”

"I do not seek approval. I am what I am, though few understand me. I do not hide behind a tea cup or set myself above others and I do not gossip, but neither do I wish to be the topic of unkind conversation."

Again, more than I wished to say, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. The words were pushed past my lips before I could control them. This would be a sign of things to come.

“And she will be the same, or no?”

He was talking of Charm, who even now, wiggled to release herself from his hold.

Yes. I answered him that and more. On her nineteenth turning she would, like her mother, be enslaved. I hadn’t meant to tell him so much about her, about me.

By the end of the evening, I had agreed to work for him, spending one week in AR, for the grand opening of his new school, all expenses paid.

As brief as my stay in AR might be, I am going.. home.