Fragility

I had a son.

Once.
Fragile little creature, dependent on those around him. But the curse that haunts me made sure he would not survive.

Choices.
There is no darkness without light, there is no wrong without right.
And I was dying. Starvation, torture, it is not a pleasant way to go. Be quick, have mercy. Choose.

Wakefulness.
The nightmares do not leave. They stab, they mock and they cut my heart up into tiny ribbons, gnawing at me from the inside out.

Silence.
No screams, no cries, no sorrowful voices soft and low to comfort. Only the cold stark reality of what I have become.

Tainted.
For me there is no redemption no retribution, there is no deliverance. I am guilty. I am doomed to walk the world of the living, watching, listening, but never feeling.

Emptiness.
I have nothing but the vacant shell that surrounds me. I have lost my children, one of which still breathes, but I cannot take a daughter away from her father, when I have already taken away his son.

I have told him everything. Every detail, no lies, no embellishments and he did not turn me away. Instead, he offered to feed me, he offered to take me home. He told me I can begin again.

Home. I’ve missed him.