Losses

I panicked, I lost my composure and perhaps my temper, and that is something I am not prone to do. He had had Charm in his custody for a hand, leaving me with no word. When finally the note came that I could find them at his House, I wasted no time.

At first I thought he was steering me towards the fact that he was going to take Charm from me, permanently and send her to Armarna, that he didn’t intend to allow me to stifle her in my peasantry. That I was obsessed with her and instead of trying to enhance her abilities, I treated her too much like a regular child.

And he had arranged for her to go to Armarna.

I panicked, I begged. I felt the icy fingers of faithlessness crawl up my back, then tighten around my throat.

He called me selfish, self righteous, presumptuous, again the word peasant inserted for good measure. He asked me what I knew about raising a child with such gifts. He called me a fool and ordered me to leave his house.

But I would not leave. If he wanted me out, he would have to bodily put me out, something I knew he would do without another thought, but I would not leave on my own. I had suddenly transformed into a stubborn woman, a word he had left out.

But soon I understood. Had I really been so selfish in not seeing past my own wants? My own needs? Was I trying to create something between us that would never come to pass? I never thought that I would have a child, let alone a family, and he was right. I wanted it. But at what cost?

I would have her until the age of twelve, at which time she would be sent to his people to better learn her gift for six months out of the year. Until then, twice a year, spring and fall, either I or Castor would take her for a full month.

And then he told me I was free of him, that we were never formally companioned by a magistrate. That there were several accounts with thousands in them as well as a cottage in Fulvian for us. That I was to make sure our daughter lacked for nothing and that she did not live in squawler. And that he loved us.

He bid me to stay in the guest room, due to the coming storm. Tomorrow morning, I could take Charm back with me.

Again the words echoed in my ears. Free of him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be.