The Library

A sea of knowledge, a vestibule of faith. They litter lands in both public venues and private proclamations. And with every answer they give, they only raise more questions.

I had promised Charming I would show here a place where her imagination could take root, bud and bloom into something wonderful. However, this wasn’t my only reasoning for wanting to visit the library this night, it was only my excuse.

Charm saw him first, the curly haired Scribe she has become so fond of, a man who makes her paper playthings, buys her books and never treats her as the child she is. To him she is only a small adult, and though he may not understand her most of the time, he never loses his patience with her constant inquiries or the exploration of tiny fingers into his hair.

I am not yet ready to share my mother’s secret, and so, as not to raise suspicion, I followed in my daughter’s footsteps, taking a seat across from the man I have come to know as family. Though my main agenda in the library had changed, I had yet another that I needed to take care of.

I told him I wanted to petition the council of Ar to change my caste status and asked him if he could help me. Even through my plague of nervousness I did not expect him to deny me, but what he did offer me was more than a surprise.

Though he has no sway with the council, he would help me learn what I needed to know in an effort to pass whatever was needed to see me ascended. He had the items I needed, but most of things were harbored at the Academy in Port Cos. More libraries for me to explore.

Charm will undoubtedly take the caste of her father, though I’m not sure that she will practice the craft. I’m rather sure that’s what the vision meant. But for reasons I could not reveal, this is something I need do for myself, as well as I now know it will give me a better access to the books I need. I did not lie to Lucian, but I could not tell him the entire truth. It’s too soon. There are things I must learn on my own first.

What came next was one small shock after another. He told me that their was a trunk of clothing for both Charm and I, mine hued in browns and greens, while Charm’s were the obvious soft tones of pink. Something that Bonnie had taken the time to gather for us. I owed her a thank you.

The second was that he wished to create a trust for Charm. This is where I could not deceive him, so I explained that Charm and I were not destitute. That, in fact there was quite a bit of coin set aside for us from her father. I just.. preferred not to use it. And I had not, not a copper touched since he had set it aside for us. I told him that I had accepted his offer of coming to stay in his House and take the position of cook because I wished to make our own way, and I by accepting his offer now, I felt as if I would be taking advantage of him. Of his kindness, and if he wished to put something away for his adopted niece, that he should be the executer of whatever he set aside.

I could tell he was trying to word his next sentence carefully, taking his time to place proper words in perfect places. He would have none of it, saying that I would be the executor. That it didn’t matter the funds from her father, it was something he needed to do. Me, executor, if only there was time.

But time is not something I have to sacrifice.

I have already resigned myself to the harder path, a path that is not set in stone, but one that does give me a choice, a better chance at the outcome that I see.

I would come back to the library tomorrow to seek what I truly needed.

I do not enjoy dealing with my own mortality.