Paper Cakes and Women in Blue

So much has happened over the course of the last few ahns, I barely know where to begin.

It had started as such a wonderful day, one that I had never thought possible. He had surprised me with gifts for Mia within the tiers of a boxed shaped like a cake. It even had her name spelled out on a small plague in front.

I never expected my emotions could fall so quickly from such heights of euphoria. But then, I never thought to have the euphoria in the first place. I should be grateful that I was able to experience it. I am grateful.

Charm and Julian had made their way down the stairs, intrigued at the box and items it contained, especially curious about the fabric cupcakes.

All was going quite well, until Charm brought up the Lady in Blue, something I had been remiss, in telling him. My explanation was immediate on the tail end of Charm’s admittance of seeing her, I mortified at the fact that I had allowed such a thing to go on for so long without bringing the subject up, but with so much going on and the fact that I do not get to see him a goodly amount of the time, I had not really given it much thought, other than the fact that Charm was seeing something that no one else could see, an invisible friend that she did not seem upset about, nor afraid of. When I questioned her she gave me a description of the woman’s appearance. Dark hair, blue eyes and always wearing a blue gown. I admit now, I should have delved deeper, but not once did I think it was a woman of flesh and blood, or one that meant to cause harm. But that said, neither did I think she was imagining the episodes. Perhaps I was too close, taking for granted things that others would be aghast at.

Charm had told me that the woman would disappear into Julian’s room and stare down at his crib. She never tried to touch him, simply watched on as he slept, so I began allowing the children to sleep with me more often. Aside from the fact that it was comforting for me, I wasn’t sure if Julian could see her and I didn’t want to ask him. I thought that I had handled it, until I could tell Lucian what was going on. I did have full intention of telling him. I just didn’t do it soon enough. It was my mistake and one I now have to live with.

He no longer trusts me; he thinks I have put his son in harm’s way. Charm is convinced the woman was here to protect Julian, from of all people, his own father, not that I believed that for a single ehn.

I feel ashamed that he now thinks Julian needs protection from me.

I shoulder the burden, the blame, but I do not know how to fix it.