Castor

Velvet chains have always bound us, tethered us to some surreal world where no one else exists, only us. I have loved others, but he has always been the man who possesses and controls my heart strings, as much as I have tried to deny it.

He still desires me.

He’s trying so hard to be the man he thinks I need. It’s a new side of him, one I don’t remember having ever seen, a man who seems happy to have me back. A man who has wanted me back all along. He’s been waiting for me. He wants us to work. I want us to work too. He gave me a ring, a sapphire paired with diamonds.

I’ve changed in so many ways, both good and bad. I think I’ve grown, or at least expanded my horizons. Perhaps he has grown as well. I think he likes my new friends, or maybe he’s just glad I finally have friends. He’s been ..agreeable.

He still needs me.

For two nights a hand Charm and I are to stay with him at his home. Not by order, but request. I’m even going to be afforded my own room.

I am finding it far too easy to simply slip back into the only role I’ve ever been comfortable in. All he has to do is look at me and I can feel my resolve crumbling, the outer shell that I’ve worked so hard to build melting away. He brings out something within me that no one else can, though there are times I’m not sure if he’s the antidote I seek, or the poison that will crawl through my veins and destroy me.

I actually hope it’s a little of each.

He still loves me.

True love is so much more than the simple exchanging of words, or a lover’s rites of passage. It doesn’t die, it doesn’t mutate. What it does is condemn the bearer’s to an inescapable bond, one that will hold fast over the years, despite the distance of separation or the agony of desertion.

Ties that bind. I’ve missed him.