Independence Day

I believe in signs. The way the wind blows the turning of a leaf to its underside before a great storm or the bad luck of a black bird tapping at the glass of a window, leading to a loved one’s death. I am a superstitious woman who often finds comfort in folklore, I think because it leads to so many other possibilities.

I’ve been helping Gina with her new shop, chasing down spiders with brooms and freeing the floors from dust , debris and rodents. I have actually been enjoying the work, the laborious tasks keeping my mind away from guilty thoughts. There is normalcy in chores and I’m finding I like the camaraderie of sharing the opinions of another woman, something that has been sorely lacking in my life. I never realized how much I missed it, because it was something I’ve never really had. Until now.

Charm and I have been living in one of the small downstairs apartments in Maayan’s Garden District building, paid with by what I earn at readings. I’ve even started to furnish it, slowly but surely, making it as much as a home for Charm and myself as I possibly can. Maybe one day, Mia will even be allowed to visit. I think of her often but I don’t hear the cries in the middle of the night like I did with my son. I guess that’s because I know she’s well taken care of. I miss her.

Although I’m still trying to put my life back into some semblance of order, avoiding men at all costs, and I do have my lingering bouts of melancholy, I am surviving. Maybe for the first time in my life I’m leaning towards a certain independence and I have a feeling that things will all work out in the end.

Because..
I believe in signs.